No chickens
Originally uploaded by LA'S DAZE
Our church had a youth trip about 3 hours from our home this weekend. I'm one of those moms that go's to these type events, and this time I decided to just let them go and chilax with their friends without me ... I'm regretting my decision a weeeee little bit .( ok, alot) I know that I can't be with them 24/7 but I genuinely like my kids and enjoy their company .( I know, wierd huh???) Also, I might just mention that a cute little fella went along and he and my 15 yo have started a friendship recently... (I like him, he's a cutie, fits in with our motley crew very well.) So, ok this is where ya'll come in ( and puleazeee remember , I'm fragile...) How old are your daughters going to have to be before you will allow them to start dating, and what will that entail? What can you share with me about how you were when you were that age (insert fragile part here...) and will you parent the same way your parents did about this... Is anyone out there going through this right now too?- I am the only one I know that has a daughter this age, all of my friends have kid's my lil P's age so they arnt even close to thinking about this stuff...
This" Raising teen Daughter's" stuff aint for no Chickens!!!
PS. If your thinking for even one second " Oh my daughter is 3, 7 11, whatever , "I have plenty of time to prepair"...LIES!!! It will be on you in a flash...Just yesterday mine were potty training... I am just so thankful that I know they are in Gods care and He loves them even more than I, they are His... There is just so much peace in knowing that.....
16 comments:
First of all...NO, I will not raise mine the way I was raised. Scary! Secondly, I can be no help at all...mine are 10,9,7 & 5. But, if it does make you feel better...I will have 4 TEENAGERS in the house at ONE time! Yea, I'm already praying about it. :)
when i was 15...hum, Ok never mind, you said you were fragile. hee hee.
the most important thing for me was a very open and honest relationship with my mom. i knew no matter what was going i could go to her knowing she would not judge me. she was there for comfort, advice when i asked for it, and to love me no matter what.
i was 15 or 16 when i started dating, i think. i was never a big "dater" i liked one boy at a time for long lengths of time. we also did group dates (a bunch of friends going to the movies together.)
good luck!!!
I did not raise my kids like my mom did me. I thank God that mine were different than me at the age of 15, I was way to mixed up at that age and didn't even live at home by the age of 15.
I think it's alright at 15 to have simple dates like at home with Mom, like over for dinner, maybe a movie with the family, stuff like that but NO and I mean NO off in cars or alone. Good luck with this and you know I do have a listening ear and am here for you.
I Love you.
Robyn
Well, first of all, I just want to say that you leave the absolute sweetest comments and it SO blesses me and makes me smile every single time. I can't wait to get them :)
As for the daughter thing... I know that can't be easy. Mine is 2 and I have no idea what we'll do... we've been talking about it though. I had to be 18, and didn't always do the best up till then, but I was pretty good. My husband didn't have any rules about that... and he was pretty good too. We had such different backgrounds, but still married pure. So, I have no idea what we're gonna do yet.. somewhere after 16 is what I'm predicting. Sorry that I'm not much help.
Sorry but you are right there is nothing you can do but tie them up I am a firm believer in rope ducktape & crazy glue but you decide what works for you. Cages help too lol Good luck.
Oh dont ask me about my dating. I was a very very bad girl. My daughter is going to have to wait until shes 30-35 before I even consider it
My daughter is 27 now and to be honest it was the grace of GOD that got me through it! She was a good teen (just normal) which means going through all the normal things. Do a Lot of praying! She has a 7 and a 2 year old now and still needs me - I guess I did okay. So will you!
I think it depends on your daughter's personalities. I was a goody-goody so I was able to date at 15. My sister was a crazy woman and my parents had to watch her like a hawk. I had a very open relationship with my mom. Her theory was that she would rather me talk to her about it than use the info to punish me. We had a special phrase. When ever I said "put mom in the closet" I got to tell her things and not get punished for them. I think knowing that I could tell her things made me want to do less bad things. It kind of took the mystique out of it. Good luck!
I think it depends on your daughter's personalities. I was a goody-goody so I was able to date at 15. My sister was a crazy woman and my parents had to watch her like a hawk. I had a very open relationship with my mom. Her theory was that she would rather me talk to her about it than use the info to punish me. We had a special phrase. When ever I said "put mom in the closet" I got to tell her things and not get punished for them. I think knowing that I could tell her things made me want to do less bad things. It kind of took the mystique out of it. Good luck!
Thankfully, my daughter is only almost 8 yet...but I have found a couple of sights that have A TON of resources and great discussions about teenage girls specifically. Check them out: http://5conversations.blogspot.com/ and http://www.virtuealert.com/
I wish I could say I was somehow associated with this ministry, but I'm not! :)
Peace & Blessings as you walk new paths!!
Hubby and I joke that our daughter will not be allowed to date until she's 30 (she's 6 now)...realistically, though, we'll let her group date when she's 16, but really discourage her from exclusive dating until she's at least 18...that's the plan anyways!! Good luck!
Your feelings are definitly validated! The other day an older girl came and sat down next to my 9yo son and was being very "sweet". I was instantly there thinking about the futur.
One of things I like about my dad is that he emphasized to me the importance of having friends and not waisting my teenage years dating. I went out in groups. I had several great guy friends.
Technically, when they date there is not much difference than just being friends only when you date you add in "emotions" and "physical opportunities" IYKWIM.
You are soooo right. Raising teen girls is not for the faint of heart. It is one of the toughest jobs you'll ever do! My girls are now 25 and 26 and let me tell you, it took a lot of blood sweat and tears to get them there. My parents didn't let me date before I was 16 and then the first year it had to be double dates only. I didn't get to single date until my 17th birthday. I figured it worked out pretty good for me so I did the same thing with my three kids. They weren't thrilled...but I told them the rules from the time they were pretty young...so by the time they were teens it wasn't a surprise and they really didn't have much to argue about. I think setting the ground rules when they were 10 or 11...and talking about why it was going to be that way periodically for the next several years...really took a lot of the trauma out of things when the time came. Good luck with yours...it's a battle you have to win!
Yeah right now my kids say "mommy i am gonna live with you and daddy forever"..and my oldest says "im gonna make lots of money so you can live in my house with me"..haha its bitter sweet..cause I know they won't always feel that way..
youth groups are a wonderful place to find lifelong friends. great sign, by the way. you sure don't see those around here... :)
I am SO not wanting to think about it. I messes up SO bad in my teenage years so my only advice to you would be to pray for God to show you the balance. You can't let them do whatever they please and like you said, you can't be with them and SHOULDN'T be with them 24/7.
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