One Family's Journey through " Trials, Triump's & The Teen Years"...

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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

S.O.S.- I am so MAD!!!


Ok girlies I need some perspective because I am praying about this and still I am feeling my flesh!! My girls have cell phones and we have texting. We first allowed this because we have family in other states and they want to communicate with them , also for when they are away from home I can keep in contact with them ALWAYS. Well one of my girls asked earlier this year if she could text a boy. (a brother of her sisters friend) We know the family and so I said she could. Well he tapped on her window at 11;30 one night so Big A told them they couldn't text him anymore. Long story long, one of my girls came in here last night and said "Mom , I have to tell you something , but please don't freak out.." ( uhhh, gulp.. No Mom wants to hear those word's) She then tells me that the boy that they weren't allowed to text anymore has been texting vile hateful things to my other daughter. Things like , she's a wh*@e , she's fat and needs lipo, that if he had a gun she wouldn't be in this world anymore, and other things. ( I really don't remember what else because I just got so angry and had to make myself sit and listen without reacting.. )I've noticed this child acting different lately. Just this weekend I had her come in and sit to talk to me about what is going on with her. She's moody has been very concerned about her appearance to the point that she hates the way she looks and doesn't want to go places sometimes, very angry acting, and shows no grace at all- A noticeable difference. I asked her to come in and talk to me about it last evening ( after I got my thoughts together) and she sat crying telling me all of the nasty things he said to her (and to her friend's about her). I assured her that Big A and I would be taking care of it, and that she is precious, beautiful and just exactly the way God made her- then we prayed together. My heart is breaking, she is changed because of this, there's an innocents that is gone. Big A and I sat talking about it last night after he got home, and he was really outraged and still feeling it this morning. I know this is somthing that as christians we are called to show grace and love , but as a mom and lover of my baby I am angry, hurting and OUTRAGED!!! I am sharing this because I need wisdom and perspective ( I am emotional as I am typing this) before I go to this family. We will meet with them as soon as they return from a trip. ( thankfully God knew we would need this time) In Him I will find strength , In Him I WILL find strength.... I'm off to have lunch with my girls, but I'll BBL!! -Thank you sista's for being here. LA

***On a lighter note, if you really wanna laugh your bootay off you must go HERE. Then come back and tell me what you thought!! ;)

27 comments:

Betty said...

I´m so sorry you have to experience this! I have two girls as well, but they are grown (20/22) and I can so feel what you are feeling! My advice would be to speak to the family, but you´re already planing that, so I will pray for you that the "talk" will go well and that you have the wisdom to say the right thing!

Elaine said...

Oh, Leah my heart is breaking for your little one and for you.

I am with you, I would need to be held back. God certainly knew what he was doing on this one. So glad they are away, so you have time to prayerfully consider what your next step is.

It is so sad when kids are mean. Your sweet darling daughter will be okay, God will see her through this too. She may be hurting now, however, this may be the opportunity that draws her more near to you and God.

I pray for courage and wisdom that you will all safely walk through this with Grace. God already knows you will.

amelia bedelia said...

you should be mad! I'm mad too! It's amazing that kids already know that kind of stuff. Hope everything gets worked out.

Jennifer said...

Girl, My heart aches for you!! My kids are not quite to the age of texting, but I've already experienced some moments where my oldest has been bullied in school for being shy! I was outraged as well! Us mothers can't help but be upset at those who try to hurt our babies (they are always babies to us!!) I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers while going through this situation. I will also pray for that boy, because he needs some prayers himself!! Take care and I hope things get better soon!
Love, Jenn

Tabitha Blue said...

Bless your heart... and hers. That's a tough one, and good thing you have some time to get good perspective and wisdom. I'll be praying for you. You and your husband will be able to get something worked out I'm sure.

chacha said...

Oh, man. Boys can be such jerks sometimes. Or a lot of the time :o)

So, this is the same daughter that was first allowed to text with the mean boy, right? Sounds like he is feeling some rejection from the situation of no longer being allowed to text her and now taking it out on her which is immature but not surprising from a teenage (?) boy.

In time, she will heal - I think most, if not all, girls have had similar situations (I remember, myself, from middle/high school). You did exactly what you should have: reassured her that she is not all those hateful things. And then talking to his family.

CIRCLE OF LIFE said...

WELL HELLO AND THANK YOU FOR CHECKING OUT MY BLOG AND LETTING EVERY ONE ELSE DO THE SAME.
YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL FAMILY AND IAM SO BLESSED THAT GOD PUT YOU IN OUR PATH I THANK YOU AND AM GLAD WITH THE DAY THAT YOU HAD HAD THAT YOU WERE ABLE TO LAUGH AT OUR POST, IT WAS FUNNY LISTENING TO IT AT THE DINNER TABLE . I TOLD YOU I COULD NOT KEEP IT IN (ALMOST.)

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SWEET COMMENT AND I WILL LOVE TO CHECK YOUR BLOG AS WELL FROM TIME TO TIME. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DO THE SAME , IT SEEMS LIKE WE READ SOME OF THE SAME, MCK MAMA AND ANGIE.


ON A NOTHER
MY HUSBAND IS A SCHOOL TEACHER AND ALL SCHOOLS HAVE ANTI BULLING POLICIES ,IT IS SO HARMFUL TO A CHILD TO HAVE THAT STRESS UPON THEM. THERE IS NO NEED FOR IT, I WOULD TALK TO THE PARENTS FIRST AND SHOW THEM THE TEXTS IF THEY HAVE ALREADY BEEN ERASED THEN YOU CAN GET A COPY FROM YOU CELL PHONE SERVICE. I WOULD STREES TO YOUR CHILD THAT SHE IS GODS GIFT AND THAT YOU AS A CHILD OF GOD WILL PROTECT HER AND THAT GOD MADE HER BEAUTIFUL. IF THE CHILD GOES TO THE SCHOOL I WOULD NOTIFIY THE GUIDENCE DEPT TO KEEP A LOOK OUT ALONG WITH THE POLICE OFFICER ON CAMPAS. ITS A SHAME THAT THIS HAS HAPPENED TO YOUR BABY AND TO BE MAD AND UPSET IT OK.GOD DOES NOT LOOK UNPON YOU ANY DIFFERENTLY YOU ARE PROTECTING YOUR CHILD , CHILDREN OF GOD.

I AM SO SORRY THAT THIS PAIN IS GOING ON IN YOUR HOUSE.I PRAY FOR A POSITIVE OUTCOME AND THAT THE CHRISTIAN FAITH YOU YOU DEMINSTRTAE ON A DAILY BASIS HELPS YOU THROUGHT THE WORRIES AND PAIN THAT THIS IS CAUSING YOUR FAMILY.

OUR GOD IS AMAZING AND HE WILL GUIDE YOU WITH THIS PROCESS AND I PRAY THAT THINGS TURN OUT FOR THE BETTER.

GOD BLESS MICHELLE.

CIRCLE OF LIFE said...

OH BTW I LOVE THAT PICTURE AWESOME. YOU GO GIRL!!!!


ALASO I ADDED MYSELF AS A FOLLOWER OF YOUR BLOG I SURE LIKR TO SEE WHAT GREATER THING GOD HAS INSTORE FOR YOUR BEAUTIFUL FAMILY.

IAM NOT SURE HOW YOU FOUND MY BLOG BUT BY GOD DOES THINGS THAT AMAZE ME LIKE MCK MAMA THAT IS FOR SURE AMAZING MIERICALS AND I BLESSED TO BE IN HIS PRESENCE. TAKE CARE AND KNOW THAT GOD IS WITH YOU AND WATCHING OVER YOUR FAMILY.

Carrie said...

I would be mad too! Kids can be so mean! I hope everything works out.

Tonya said...

I am so sorry to hear about your problem. We actually got my son a cell phone after he was bullied at a youth group meeting. I was outraged, and we thought a cell phone would be a way to keep connected.

I could have written your post though...not about the bullying part of a daughter...but how to keep the anger in check. I have a situation where I am really holding back my anger to make life easier on my kids, but it is something I struggle with daily and often pray for peace about. It is definately hard!

Kids can be so hurtful and mean. I hope the parents are open to your talk and correcting this young man's behavior.

Margo said...

Oh friend, I am praying for her. Just keep on telling her that those are all lies, not TRUTH...which is what you have been telling her, that she is God's workmanship (Eph 2:10) and wonderfully made (Psalm 139...all of that is good) and that God delights over her with singing (Zeph 3:17)...Claim those verses, pray those verses with her and over her!!! I will be praying for you and her as often as the Holy Spirit lays you on my heart!

ali said...

I'm so sorry your family is going through this! I wish I could give you some words of wisdom but I would be just as mad! Hugs to your daughter:)

Debbie said...

I would certainly follow the advice of getting a copy of those text messages and taking them with me when you meet with the parents. Pray, Pray and Pray some more for wisdom, patience and lots and lots of love for this young boy and his parents. After all, they are the ones with the problem. I know your feeling a lot of things right now and love is not one of them – I would be right where you are if anyone hurt my babies. I will pray for God to supply all your needs during all this. Keep us updated.

Karen said...

I'd start with contacting his parents. I don't think that would be out of line at all, as I'd want to know if it was my son saying things like that.

We'll keep you guys in prayer because that is not fun. Or easy. Poor girl.

Emily said...

I will keep you and your family in my prayers... gosh people can be soo hateful and ignorant for no reason whatsoever!
I am so glad you found my blog! Ur blog is great and always brings a smile to my face:) Glad we found eachother!!

tollesons4him said...

I am so sorry that you and your family are having to deal with such an issue. I will keep you all in my prayers and pray that God will give you strength and peace when speaking with the family.
{{HUGS}}

Candy said...

oh man.

that's a toughie.

Lori of I'm no super Mom said...

I am so sorry your precious girl is having to deal with this. I think praying about it, as you already are, is the best thing to do. God will guide you to do what is right. I will keep the whole situation in my prayers.

CIRCLE OF LIFE said...

IAM SO GLAD YOU FOUND MY BLOG I HAVE MET A FEW PEOPLE THAT HAVE SAID YOU REFERED MY BLOG TO THEM AND I THANK YOU SO MUCH, I'AM BLESSED.

CntryMomma said...

I had heart palpitations reading this 'cause my girls are 8 and 6 and I so am not looking forward to having teenage girls. *sigh* I see "the nastiness" already starting amongst some of the girls classmates.@@

I think these situations are very difficult so I really don't have any pearls of wisdom ... I tend to be a mother bear when it comes to my girls (someone hurting them) so it's probably best NOT to take MY advice. LOL

LORI

mommaof4wife2r said...

back up...i'm gonna get ahold of that boy! ok...i'm calming down. this type of thing has happened before with my DD1. we have contacted the parents with situations like this and showed the info to them so they are aware of what is going on. if it happened at school, big bullying issue...contact them. and, at all costs, pray first. speak second! smile and stay strong!

Mrs de Miranda said...

This is terrible!!! I feel for your daughter! I can not imagine having to read those things and I can not imagine being a mother having to listen to someone having hurt her baby like that.

You are definetly going about this in the right way. If this boy is saying these things then there must be something going on with him. Something isn't right. I guess just try and keep that in your heart...but it looks like that is what you are trying to do. The other thing I can say is this kid's parents are not going to want to hear that their child is saying terrible things. I would be prepared to show them the texts if your daughter still has them? It is definetly not going to be easy. I will definetly be praying for you and for you daughters little heart, poor thing!

Thanks for stopping by my blog!! Im adding you to the reader!

nikkicrumpet said...

Kids can be so very rotten. The name calling is something most kids get at one time or another...but the threats are something that need to be dealt with for sure. I feel so bad for your sweet daughter. At that age things hit their hearts harder than they should. Good luck with dealing with this problem. And I hope your precious little girl gets feeling better about herself!

ashwes said...

HI- thanks for the recent post on our blog... Im a little embarrassed to say i dont think i know you- do we have a mutual friend?!... If we do, let me know! Thanks

Davisix said...

First of all...I am not help with this at all. I don't even know what to say. My heart is breaking for her...and you. I wish I was there because I would give you a big ole hug! Does that help? Not really? OK. Well, I love ya anyway. I am praying about this with you. Ang

Kam said...

So sorry she had to experience this! And so sorry that I am really behind on checking blogs! I will pray for you all and for this person. We were all "children of wrath" before Jesus! So we will trust Him to heal her heart...that she will find her worth in Him alone! And trust Him to speak to you as to how to parent her well through this.
Much love,
Kam

Keli said...

I'm so sorry that you all are going through this! I'm not sure what to say other than I'll be praying for her, that she will see herself as beautiful, which I know she is! And I'll be praying for you too! Love ya Kel