Our family's journey, & all the bumps & bruises along the way...

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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Wednesday -This Aint your Average Wordfull Post!!! (some Violence & Angst)

We'll Its happened.... My, 15 year old found a boy that quickens her pulse...Frankly, your choices about what to do are very limited !!!

Lets go back in time shall we?? We had her around 9 am in Scottsdale Az. on a beautiful may morning. Precious little baby girl, with beautiful round blue eyes, and the softest sweetest smelling skin I think I had nearly ever smelled. As with every mother who looks foreword to her babies birth, I had so many hopes and dreams about how our lives together would be...
Her birth was scheduled well in advance so naturally we very naively assumed that we knew exactly how it would go down, we didn't then & frankly haven't known much of anything to let her tell it, since then.
What happened?? Where is my baby??? & why is it that she knows full well that I have been on this earth for 38 years & have pretty much been there, done that, yet All that gets me a huff & a roll of the eyes. ( actually I don't really ever see the rolling of the eyes naturally, because by that time, she has stomped away hating me for asking her why, for the billionth time, did she leave her straightener on, & didn't she know it could burn the house down?? ect.....(But then I hear "Mom, shes rolling her eyes again~~ SLAM"!!!) She stands now looking @ me eye to eye as we struggle, her to get me to the ground, me to keep that from happening come hell or high water, even at the expense of not being able to stand upright for the next week and a half!!! ( never , EVER let them see you sweat!!!, or limp around!!) She begins to laugh because I can still take her down ( & thank the good Lord, because if she EVER gets that over on me, I just don't know what might happen to the safety of myself and her sisters. My brute strength just might be what is standing in the way of complete & total anarchy!!!) Then all is well again, until in about 5 minutes,when I do , or say something else that rubs her the wrong way, might even be her name, we just never ever know...
I hear tell that it is her job to hate me, that secretly she doesn't, that when she says go away with her mouth she really means come here, that she needs love and affirmation... But what about when she says it with gritted teeth, screaming, whilst shaking her fist at me with the look of horror, all I see is the whites of her eyes?? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, HUH??????
I just happen to have kids that are early teens & also a younger one who is 7 ( all girls) so I fit into 2 groups of mothers. Quite a few of my friends happen to have kids lil P's age, so they get a front row seat in this psychotic episode that has become my life and in seeing me muddle through this maze. I hear from them time to time,"Thank goodness that by the time I get there with mine you will have already been through it and I can look to you for guidance... WHAT??? Have you NOT heard my prayer requests??? They go a little somthin like this --" Please pray that I make it through this next week when we will meet again so that once again you can pray for me..... Sometimes you might hear" Please pray that whomever swapped out my baby 14 years ago in the PICU in Scottsdale Az. would contact me and bring my child back, no questions asked. Or it might go a bit like this: " Please pray that I get a word from God soon about when, when will he be coming back for me, I NEED TO KNOW!!!????
I know, its not all that bad, I'm just telling you , if I hear her sisters walk out of their room one more time asking " How does this look?? & hear her HUFF, & make this barely audible noise that has become the benchmark of our rivalry, then see her sister, shoulders slumped, walk back into their room to change for the um teeth time because of her disapproving grunt, I'm going to loose a grip!!!
Ok, seriously I want to end this on a positive note, so as to not offend & so that you don't mistakenly contrive from this that I am not one million percent in love with, & totally adore my child & her three sisters. I know w/ every part of me that they are what I was created for. To love nurture & yes, even mess up in my humanness & imperfectness from time to time. The good news is however, they have parents who pray, & love them plum past the moon and back. There isn't anything that I have ever done (w/ the exception of their births, my wedding day and being in the Lord presents ) that has brought me more pure utter joy or total & complete bliss, than having this life as I walk daily with my babies.
God has been so good to me, & I pray daily that I can be all that He has called me to be for them. If you don't grasp anything else from my mishaps and blunders, please remember this: They are only with us for a minute, after which they are off fluttering around learning life's hard lessons with us hopefully doing in tandem what we are each called to do on their behalf :~~Standing on the sidelines Cheering them on, while we are also " Wearing out our Knees!!" As the word says, "Teach them the way they should go, & when they are old they WILL NOT depart from it....


OK, that's quite enough for now, thank you for your patronage & be certain that I am SO waiting for sage advice and wisdom from ALL of you, because the BOY frontier I have yet to venture in to .... And, as my part of this deal, I will let you know if she gives up the grunt, but as I'm sure you know, its not very likely!! :0)


LA ☻

35 comments:

Valarie Lea said...

I have been down this road (18 year old) and I am going down this road (14 year old).

Advice

1. Do not ask them about their time with said boy. Act like you don't care and they will spill their guts.

2. One day they will start acting responsibly and you will start to see the slightest glimps of them realizing that you were right after all.

3. Pray you don't wring their necks, before they get to number 2

:)

Have you read the other Twilight books??? I am on Breaking Dawn, and then I guess I will start all over. :)

Debbie said...

I agree with Valarie. I have a 27 year old daughter and wondered if I would make it through those years. Your a good mother, it may seem crazy right now - it will get better. Hang in there and keep praying!!!

Not Your Average Belle said...

I don't have any experience raising children, but I am pretty experienced in giving my mother panic attacks. I realized that we have grown a lot closer now that she has gotten busier - maybe it's because she has her own stuff to worry about and doesn't need to fret over me as much. So I'd agree with the other commenters. Good luck!

Jillene said...

I DON'T want teenagers--especailly the girls!! My girls are only 6 and 3 so I don't have any advise to give you--sorry!! Good luck!!

Candy said...

oh my goodness.

I have ONE beautiful little brown-eyed bundle of joy, and I want to cherish these moments- because I know that later on I am going to do a LOT OF CRYING.

yikes.

don't wanna think about it.

A New England Life said...

I have 2 girls, 12 and 15. We aren't a fighting family and my husband will not tolerate the girls treating either of us with disrespect. However, we went through a pretty rough patch with the older one. I didn't know if either of us would make it through. Me, because I thought I'd have a breakdown, and my daughter because I thought my husband might wring her neck! I will say counseling helped us all enormously. Us to understand her, and vice versa.

I remember some of my friends having terrible fights with their mom's when I was in High School, but luckily I never did. And my daughters and I get along very well also. Sure there is a little whining or complaining or disagreeing, but over all we have a good relationship. I wish you well with your girl. 15 is a tough age, for you and for her. And her first real boyfriend ... yikes! It's an emotional rollercoaster! Seems they really were babies just last week. *sigh*

God knows I would NEVER want to be a teenager again! lol!

Jill said...

Teenagers... what can I say? I am afraid for when my 7 and 2 year old become them. I have seen my nephews grow up and now my niece and it is really tough! Hang in there. There's a light at the other end of the tunnel. :)

He And Me + 3 said...

I have a sassy, roll your eyes, almost 9 year old. When and why do they grow up so fast these days? Some days I think God trusted me with too much. LOL But each day I do that best I can... Good luck with the Boy thing. Am not looking forward to those days at all *sigh*

Leigh said...

I can completely 100% relate!

Leigh said...

BTw thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting so I could swing by your place. I love new friends!

CIRCLE OF LIFE said...

wow i have a 8 1/2 year old going on 9 new years eve and a 2 1/2 boy ech give us a run for the money and i pray that they are good teen age girls and stay out of trouble. i would love to keep them in a bubble so that they stay at teh age and so sweet as oie. not happening. i got tha santa list today AND BIY DONT THEU UNDERSTAND SANTA IS ON A TIGHT BUDGET THIS YEAR! OH WELL KIDS WILL BE KIDS .

EmilytheCreative said...

Well.. he is cute... no advice.. as my little blue eyed girl is sweetly asleep in her bed.. all 3 years of her.. But her daddy is already cleaning his shotgun.. :X

Jennifer said...

First off, I can't offer any advice, being my oldest will be 9 on the 15th of this month!! I so dread those days though!! I will definetly be reading how you handle the situations, so that I may be strong enough to handle them myself! On a side note, I have to say, "the boy" is quite a cutie!

Abra said...

I hate to reiterate, but I'll trade my eight year old for your fifteen year old....?

soawesomeimightgetarrested said...

all i can say is i feel you!

stay strong:)

Confessions of A Mississippi Mom said...

I'm praying for ya sweetie. And I don't look forward to the day my daughter come homes with one of those bf ... YIKES

Liz said...

I have 4 children (none of the female variety) so mine are the ones causing you the problems...although they are only 7 5 3 and 1 so they aren't doing that quite yet....wish I could give you advice...I saw a speaker the other day...a guy from Kanakuk...they had a breakout session after his presentation to discuss how to raise girls and boys..didn't go to the girls part, but I heard it was great..discussed exactly what you are talking about..if they come to a church in your area I would HIGHLY recommend it..Was AMAZING!

By the way thanks for stopping by my blog last week....sorry it took me so long to return the favor. have a great week.

Liz said...

Oh and by the way..we are fellow Okie's...how fun..
liz

HeatherPride said...

Oh, I have not crossed this bridge yet and I am dreading it!! My parents tell me that I was a good teenager, but I do remember going through the whole "attitude" phase. I feel bad about it now.

ka1t_lyn said...

Ha, this reminds me of me in high school. I was forever leaving my straightener on, and my dad would have a fit every time. Hey, at least he looks like a clean-cut, nice boy. My dad had a heart attack the first time I brought a boy home. And the time after that :). Good luck, I know you can get through it! :)

Kameron said...

Oh my goodness. I will pray for you girl! I don't know how you can handle a house full of girls. I have 1 little boy so far, and I almost think that if I do have a girl I will go through that exact same thing...it will be my karma from when I was that same way to my mom!! Ugh!

Emily said...

praying for you:)
the joys of teenage years:)

KDLOST said...

yikes! i am holding on to toddler hood for now... i will have to cross the teen bridge when i get there... eeek

just said a prayer for you!!!

Liz said...

We live in Edmond now... but I grew up in OKC and lived in Tulsa for a couple of years...my oldest son was born at St. Francis hospital in Tulsa....

April said...

OMG...you've just scared the daylights out of me! I have three girls...about to turn 11, 8, and 6. I know that this will happen at my house one day and it terrifies me!

Jennifer said...

Thanks for the comment on my blog :) As far as teenagers....hmmm I was one :) For now I am blessed with two sweet boys.

Jennifer

Keli said...

I have an almost 18 yr old that's had a girlfriend for almost a year. So far so good! We have a good relationship and talk about everything. I'm so thankful! BUT, I still get the eye roll, the grunts and I love the look he gives me like I have 3 heads! You will make it! I also have a 9 yr old with the same sassy attitude as your 15 yr. old! You are a great mom!

Eyeglasses & Endzones said...

Oh, I am on the other end of this one..I have 2 boys. My job is to raise them to be Godly, in control of their hormones, and also heavy doses of what women like. I remind my boys all the time. Girls like to be told they are beautiful, girls like the doors opened even after you are married, girls like to have flowers sent for no reason. Im trusting that this new addition has been taught all the same things...and some Bible thrown in at every turn!!! =)

Jen - Balancing beauty and bedlam said...

I'll have to come back and read the comments, but we're all there with you...I am here at Disney with 24 teen boys and LOADS of cheerleaders. NOT FUN! IN fact, I don't think is really a vacation at all. :)
Good thing my son read "I kissed dating goodbye" and agreed with it. Only group things for him. :)

SitDownKaren said...

*Love* your blog! My world revolves around a little 5 year old going on 15 long haired angel.

Sometimes I cry when she goes to school or when she talks about her friends. I can't even get myself to where your at now.

Boys? Just remember you will be their when she needs you-- buy lots of tissue.

Lisa Baldwin said...

Teenagers...Nothing else should be said! I don't have any daughters I have all sons. It isn't much different with them either. We have been raising my Nephew for 4 years now and he just turned 17. That is when he stated rolling his eyes and that mouth. Oh, when the girlfriend came in the picture it went down hill. I pray every day that I get through it. I try to remember what it was like at that age and know that it's ten times worse now. My Mom gave me great advise and that was let him grow into a man let him make his decisions. Also let him feel like his independent. Don't be so controlling and just listen to him. That is really all I've got hopefully some day we'll look back on this and thank GOD that we made it through it!

heather said...

I remember those days oh so well. On the teenage daughter end -that is. Hang in there. :)

Traci said...

Yes, my oldest (18), would think I was trying to control her day if I said the sun was shining....

She was just married two days ago and is moving to Hawaii for 2 years!!! She had a whirlwind engagement (8 weeks)....only started really getting serious 4 weeks before that!!! Her first real kiss from him was at THE WEDDING!!!

So.....enjoy the rough times.....they will quickly become tears of joy and happiness...and sadness ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!!

I've got a 16 and 13 year old....did I mention that I keep a prozac salt lick on my diningroom table? I would highly suggest getting one.....since you have one more girl than I do....ba haaaaa...that wasn't an evil laugh, I SWEAR.....

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