Refusing...

Its me again. It's 1:30am & I'm back in my room. I was going to stay the night with him but he doesn't sleep peacefully when I do. He remembers I'm there & opens his eyes to check & make sure I havn't left. So I have come back to hang out with my family that have traveled here. My 2 younger brothers, their girlfriends, my baby sister & mom are all here & it's been nice being surrounded by people who love him like I do. One thing about family, they show up. I am also so blessed because I also have friends that are family & my gosh have you showed up. You have blown me away with your capacity to love me & be my rock, encouragers & prayer warriors. Amazing. Thats what you are & I am so thankful.

  Tomorrow is a pretty big day. There is a tear in his liver & we are waiting to see (& believing that it will) heal itself. The alternative is horrifying to even consider. If it doesn't, the unthinkable with have to happen. They will reopen him. (The cursor is just siting, blinking in silence as I think about what that will mean for him....). So I won't think that way. He is being healed & God is his physician. Another thing that weighs sooooo heavily is that my time here is drawing near & I can't bare the thought of leaving. Thankfully God gives us strength for the day & just enough light for the step that we are on. I'm refusing to let fear creep in & control me because I know who holds each day in His hand. I'm very tried so I am signing off. I will be back with news as  soon as I know anything. Thank you for continuing to pray. I love you.