Our family's journey, & all the bumps & bruises along the way...

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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Blundering through Bad news...


Blink blinkblinkkkk... Thats what the cursor is doing. While I try & formulate my thoughts. Please be patient while I sort through all of this... What would be the worst news that you could possibly get about your parent. Divorce? Maybe an adulterous affair? Selling your childhood home, & moving? ... I think what I have heard today trumps alllll.

My. Mother. Has. ( very aggressive colon) C. A. N. C. E .r.

Yes. cancercancercancer... As I write this, I'm acutely aware of the tightening in my chest. The shallow breathing I seem to be now only capable of... My mind is a blaze of thoughts of years past. Anger from my childhood for a mother who wasn't what we needed. Brokenness. All lay like pieces of a shattered mirror. She has suffered for years in an abusive relationship. Her body is still suffering for it. Drug addiction, healed. By the grace of God. Last year surrendered her life to the healing resurrected power of the Almighty Christ. & now cancer??? The pain I feel is palpable...  My head is chalk full of wisdom, hope, faith that that I would have for you should you ever come to me with this devastation. ( I pray not...)  But right now, I have nothing... I'm on the verge of what surely is a nervous breakdown?. Surely not!. I'm a believer. I've seen mountains MOVE!.  I've seen relationships restored!!

I know that digging deep is about to be required of me, & right now, I just don't  have it in me. Please, will you pray? I know He is mighty to save... Faithful. & thats all I know. Thank you for reading my rambling... LA

10 comments:

sassy81172 said...

All I can say to you is that you know that I am praying, and will continue to pray for your mom, you and all of the family!! I am here, any hour, if you need to talk, cry, laugh, punch, etc. Suffice it to say, I'm here for ANYTHING you might need! Please don't hesitate to let me know!! I love you my dear friend and will be here to help you through this!!

Missy

Leslie said...

Oh Leah. I am so sorry. I will be praying for your family :(

Robyn said...

I really know how you feel, with my Mom dealing with a form of colon cancer for 9 years now. I have cried many a times and cried out for prayer. I will pray for healing and pray for peace and comfort, for your Mom and the family. I'm here anytime you want to talk, cry or anything, I maybe 3,000 miles away but I do have a great ear!
I Love you!

Sweet Tea said...

I am soooo sorry that you are hurting badly. And so sorry for your Mom. A Cancer diagnosis is a sucker-punch for sure. After the shock subsides you will begin to wrap your mind around the diagnosis. Be kind to yourself right now and allow yourself to grieve for this turn in your Mom's health. I'm praying for you Leah.

Rebecca Jo said...

...I hate cancer...

Lifting up a prayer for your mom, you & the whole family

Elizabeth said...

I'll be praying for you and your family and I'm glad that even in a moment like this, you are still able to see the power in God.

Alicia said...

Yes, my friend..I will pray!!!!!! I know that cancer sounds so terminal, but God has the last word, not man. HUGS!!

Kelsie From Our Country Home said...

I stumbled in here to thank you for a comment on my silly pink boots...I am so sorry to read about your mom and the turmoil you are in...Please take comfort in the fact that she has found the Lord and with it the comfort and strength she will need to endure...Without him surely things would be much much worse.
I will pray comfort, strength, renewal and health for your mother and for your entire family.

Blessings Sister, Jesus loves us.
Kelsie

Sweet Tea said...

Stopping by to check on you.
Please come back and update us when you can. Hugs & Prayers.

Susan S said...

Leah, I am a stranger to you, yet a sister in Christ. I'm praying...