Our family's journey, & all the bumps & bruises along the way...

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Monday, November 12, 2007

As it is...

FYI-This is a journal about 5 girls, 1 boy & the goings on w/in the context of said family..It is a journal & @ the same time read by friends & loved ones who can after reading this entry, be very thankful that their life isn't filled w/such wonderful opportunities to grow in their walk. I am one of said girls & @ present struggling w/ another of the 5 girls. As this is a journal, I am going to be very poignant about my feelings.. I have a daughter that we will simply refer to as' miss 14' to protect the not-so-innocent...Well 'miss 14' came home from her dads this summer (for the second year in a row) w/ a new boyfriend that she met on the internet & fell madly in love, hid it very well (surprisingly) for 2 months, then (true story, only the names have been changed) was made to end the torrid texting affair after I found a text stating ' Good night sweet love, I will miss you till after 5 period when I can hear from you once more...' Needless to say, she was put on serious lockdown & swore to be loyal,trustworthy and responsible & to never contact the 65 y.o man posing as a 16 yo boy ever again (well, how do we know he isn't a 65y.o pervert? I've never met the guy!!!)fast fwd 3 months..'Miss14' gets off punishment, her life & cell phone back, go's on a minivacation w/ her bff & WHAM-Back in love affair w/ 65 yo man posing as a 16 y.o boy...(still no proof to the contrary) So once again, I've been driven to take matters in to my own hands.. I have txt 65y.o man & very innocently asked for his address & home # "cause I'm putting it in my fone book and I also want to 'send him somthing" I'm going to call his house, & if he really has a mom (like any self respecting 16 y.o boy does) I'm going to have a conversation w/ her about the trouble 'Miss 14' is in over all of this. Oddly enough, he hasn't text me- I mean her, back....Tune in next time to see how this all plays out, in the meantime can you share w/me what your thoughts are & what you would do in the same situation. Uh oh 5th period is over,gatta go,bbl-LA

7 comments:

rockinmom45 said...

Hey Ell.I do agree with that you should check out this person.There is soo much of that crap out there now, that you'd be NUTS not to do this.If you dont get what(the answers) you are looking for there, then tell her she has to stop. BUT, explain why, & what your reasoning is for her doing so.I know that your Christian values have become very strong in your life in the past few years,but PLEASE do not commit "OVERKILL" here. She will do nothing but revolt and NOT TRUST YOU or anything you try to tell her!She is at such a crossroads in her life right now(you should know & understand) YOU HAVE TO BE SOOOOO CAREFUL RIGHT NOW.Do not push her away by being so "drill sargent" strict.Yet, don't be naive enough to say "we've taught her better". Get close with her and make sure she knows & believes,absolutely 100%,that she can trust what you tell her and talk to her about HOW YOU FEEL& WHY and mostly,, BE HER FRIEND, not her ENEMY!!I am telling you this from my personal experiences w/my mom. Do not assume that her "sunday school" teacher has talked to her about these things.. Do NOT assume she knows that your her "MOM" and you know best. At her age , we dont know sh*T!!
Enough,I know you are hearing what I AM PREACHING HERE. You must find a WAY TO GET CLOSER.. not a fake close but a real "close", SOUL 2 SOUL close.. YOU NEED TO START NOW!! my heart goes out to you but you need to resolve this now..ASK GOD.. He'll say the same thing. You have 3 more to go thru this situation with. (boys are so much easier, NOT!!!) been here done this with them.. Am still doing this w/ my youngest!! AAUUGGHH! I love you baby!! AM HERE FOR YOU!! DI

rockinmom45 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mama Cakes said...

I agree and disagree with the previous poster. You can't be her best friend, YOU ARE HER MOM!! When she is in her 20's you can be friends. What she needs now is a PARENT and that is exactly what you are doing. You are loving, protecting, guiding and teaching her. You are giving her logical consequences to her actions. You are on top of it and I will pray that the Holy Spirit will continue to give you nudges when she is up to stuff. Keep praying that she gets caught and that she is not content when she is sinning. In Christ's love, Kathy

Jo said...

wow I have been there hun.. Just remember talking is fine actions are not what I wanna know is how is she meeting boys online? I do not allow my kids to have face book or my space I hear shit al;l the time because they can't well to bad my house my rules.. My miss 14 aka the sperm that shoulda been swallowed is my stepdaughter but we are so close and she opens up she has the :boyfriend" well they call themselves that but she never saw him outside of school.. If you get to strict she will run I am telling you it is true if you are to controlling she will run ask her what she wants and what she feels there is a point of being friend and parent it is a VERY thin line I agree with texting and pretending to be her thats fine but she needs to be kept so busy that there is no time for boys. Good Luck call me if you wanna talk..

4isjustright said...

Hang in there girl. Although I dread the day when I will be dealing with the same thing. The only encouragement I can offer is from my own teeny-bop years. My mom and dad would make me so mad because they were so strict and did not allow me to date nor have anything other than a platonic relationship with boys until I was in my senior year (yeah, wow!) But, they saved me from making some big mistakes and having multiple sexual partners, getting pregnant, getting an STD, getting hung up on boys instead of growing up and making focused decisions on my life. When I look back, I am soooo grateful they stuck to their guns and made the difficult decisions. I never made it easy for them, but I thank the Lord they never backed down. I'm praying for you to have strength and wisdom, so you can always be one step ahead in the game. (~:

Anonymous said...

Dear Mom:
She did not meet this boy in AZ. And I hear he put her name on his hand and sent her a photo so it appears he is 16, not 65.
I know I sure had crushes from 7th grade on. My first loves name unfortunately was Gaylord Horman. Be thankful his is Kameron.
Anonymous,
Grandmother

Loser Face said...

Hey!
It's Logan. God knows that I'd be scared to death if I caught my kids talking to some boy-- epecially if I didn't know who this boy was & if it was over texting. But don't worry, I know this boy, and he is definitly sixteen. But Miss14, STOP IT! I miss talking to you!

Well, if you guys want, you should read my blog :]