I will fear no evil, for thou art with me...

Here I am ya'll, & only by Gods grace & mercy!! . So much going on in our 4 walls. But, I'll start here. Boy, have I missed you! So often have I thought about my bloggy girlfriendz & your precious hearts. I have been asked often, especially lately, about when I would return to the blogesphere? My answer was always, when I felt a peace about sharing my heart again. I as so many of you, have had such a season of sifting & I needed this time with my family & the Lord to regain what was slowly being eaten away by not focusing on what God was calling me to. Now, I am clinging to the promises & believing His best for the incredible adventure that He has called me to. I hope you'll join me once again on this precious jorurney, it just wouldn't be the same withoutcha!! I'll be back to dig in & share more aftera much needed date night,LYLAS/B!

ummm, may be dead by friday...

*& thats if I stall!!...
Ok, sit right back & let me share with you just how & why I am in this perdiciment... It is NOT however my fault, I'll just go on and get that right out of the way!!.
Soooo, I have this children's boutique saved in my ebay fav's ( yep, you know right where I'm headed) today I get this email reminding me of how fabulous & thrifty their adorable "Couture" clothing line is. "Ok ", I say to myelf, "I'm just going to take a look & see what they have that's new", then I hear myself say, right out LOUD " & lil P is 8 years old, & pretty soon I won't be able to dress her in these pretty frilly clothes any more" ... Oh- No- I- shouldn't- Have, that my dear friends, was my downfall... Before I knew it somthing came over me & I'm knuckle deep in "Buy it Now's", & "Is that your final bid"?... Enter, Enter , Enter~ then I remember that my other daughter dropped her blackberry yesterday. "Well", (I say to myself) "We certainly don't want to have to replace her $100,000 dollar phone DO WE? & besides, that's not really fair for P to get somthing & not her". So, off I go on another search... WHAMO~ I'm now the proud winner of the cutest lil Leopard Bling case!!At that point I've got to go & get my a big ole Un~Sweet Tea (because by this time I am just plain parched & wore nearly plum out!) & think, "You know, if I can get free shipping & find me a case from that same seller"... Well, you guessed it!!. A proud owner of a super cute blingged- out Palm Pre Case to boot!! Seriously cute, you should see it!! Then............... it hits me & I can see Big Daddy's face.. DBLE GULP.... Here I sit, finger sore & sweat beading on my foreghead, the excitment fading &, I get the "Summary Purchasing Email" on my Palm... Now, Im in strategy mode... Well, it's just got to be this diet. Doesn't he know that I havn't had sugar in 2 WEEKS??? I bet he couldn't nearly starve & get an email like that just taunting him & not atleast go & see what all the fuss was about, after all I'm weak!! Well, if he thinks he's going to act like that & get away with it, he's got another think comming (meanwhile, he doesn't even have a clue about any of this~ Hey, don't you dare judge me, didn't you just read that I havn't had a lick of sugar in over 2 WEEKS & frankly if you arnt going to help me, then until you are ready to appoligize, I frankly have nothing else to say.......................... Oh yeah except, I'm open for any & most all suggestions... ;) I better get going before He comes home. Heyyyyy, maybe if I get back on & get him somthing too. What was the name of that cell case place... Or, he does have a golf bag that I'm just certain would love to have another................................................................................................. LYLAS LA

Serious Thankfulosity!! ;)

A lil backround... That guy right there (in the middle of those beautiful precious girlz) is my Dad. And for over 30 years I really didn't know him. Then about 4 years ago he contacted me & told me he had given his life to Jesus & asked if I'd be open to seeing him to talk about things.  I. Was. Blown. Away!!. This guy was, well lets just say "the furthest person from a relationship w/ God" in my opinion. A total loss to me... But God knew, & reached into the darkness to reach my dad & totally transformed his life!
 Since that time he & I talk regularly & now my 4 babies have a grandad that loves the Lord!! Woooot!
 If there's somone in your life that you have written off, or that you have unforgivness for, God has a plan. He knows your heart. His plans to bless you & he wants to reconcile the lost to Himself & your loved ones to you- don't give up believing Him for them! I've got plenty more loved ones on my "hit list" & when I feel discouraged or like it's just to impossble, I look @ this pic & thank God for the new legacy my girls will be a part of!. I never could have even dreamed this big!! In the famous lyrics of Steve Perry"Dont Stop, Believin"!! LYLAS • LA

Leah Allen
 --Sent from my Palm Pre *Which totally Rocks! 

What the Hizeck Wednesday?!

So, this precious lil girl @ church told me (very excitedly) that I remind her of Rain.bow.bright!!!........Rethinking the haur ya'll!!!...

Leah Allen
 --Sent from my Palm Pre *Which totally Rocks! 

Not me Monday...

I did NOT go to an Eggstravaganza on Saturday & not wear sunblock- nope, that would just be silly!!
I also did NOT not put sunscreen on lil P... :(

I did NOT overeat @ lunch & vow to never eat again, ughh!

I was NOT tempted to push one of the girls in the pond by our home today as they were leaning over looking @ turtles! Nope, now that would just be down rite mean!

We are NOT heading out in a bit to see "How to Train your Dragon" on a school day, no we are not... ;)

I did not sit & think about how in the world I can eak out a trip again this year to fly home (Florida) & lay on the beach w/ my bestie... & Ahhh, I'm NOT dreaming of it now...
So, what did you NOT do today? ;)
For other Not Me Mondays head on over to My Charming Kids and see what everyone else didn't do ;)

LYLAS LA

Leah Allen
--Sent from my Palm Pre

What is it really??

Oh, Yay, we are going to talk about "Forgivness".~ DO NOT HIT THE BIG RED X IN THE TOP RIGHT CORNER, I seeeeeee YOU!! ;) **Well, maybe more about my struggle with it( among other things). The Bible speaks forgivness & I'm preeeetty certain that everyone reading this has someone (s) in their life that they can think of right now that they know they need to forgive?!. (Im not judging) . The good Book says that we are to turn our cheek 7x70 times. Also, that our Heavenly Father will judge us the same way we judge others, and so on and on... And, here's the rub~ we are all called to forgive, despite the other persons deservidness. Good stuff right!!... Well, I have this problem. I am given opportunities often to overcome this little issue that I struggle with and often I fail at. Its called "Justice".I .Want. Justice. When someone wrongs me, I want justice. If you are my friend, and you get wronged, yep. I want justice for you... Well, justice,mercy & forgivness dont really go hand in hand... If Im waiting for them to pay for what they have done~ for the truth to be revealed~ for them to be held responsible, then I am not walking in forgivness. The problem with me not being able to accept them not paying the piper seems to be a running theme in my life ( hence the " I keep getting opportunities to overcome") is because the Lord continues to allow me to be in situations where things happen and I'm the one that has to have all the yucky poop squeezed out of me. (stuff that I know He wants me free'd from because it isnt Christ like. But, what about them Lord?. Why do they continue to be allowed to do wrong; lie, cheat, decieve, portray themselves as somthing that is soooo ovbious to me & seemingly only me) that they are NOT, "yet noone else can see it" type stuff.. This is all really ugly. Im not proud of it. It makes me deal with things that I dont want to think are even inside my heart. But if it wernt in there, I wouldnt do, feel or think them, right?
In the past I could pray & have a peace knowing , one way or another, that I would be delivered, God would be glorified & also show me the way to handle it. Now, I am in a season of raising my 3 teens & their younger sister & for whatever reason, just can't find it in me...
The older 3 girls's pop ( I dont call him their dad, he isnt. A dad sends birthday cards, is dependable, calls on special occasions even when he is 2000 miles away, makes you a priority. My husband is the one that holds them , loves them, talk & prays with them. When they have had a bad day he's the go to guy & deals with all the emotional teen girl drama along side me~ thats a dad... See, I told you..)
I digress, Im finding more & more in the season of life that I'm in there just seems to be quite a bit of yuckyness in me. I think that I am just in such as state of constant stress that all of my emotions are right at the top, just under the surface. I'm just not dealing with things very well. How do people do it? How do people have a functioning, normal life, a thriving marriage, dedicate time to friends & other family, all the while managing to raise teens?? It is so far beyond me.
The reason I mention all of this is because prior to the past 3 years, I feel like I cared more about things. I was way more patient. I would have considered things before I just said no. I was more gentle and loving. I feel like she's gone? ( I'm praying she isn't, I really liked her so very much more. I know my husband did too, & I grieve for her return.)
Which brings me back to forgivness. Because I am feeling like Im in a fight for my life every single day here at home, when something else happens that adds to my daily stress, I dont seem to have the capacity to even deal. I just have a "not very nice thought" and simply move on. Wheres the freedom in that? Where are the years I have spent seeking God? The peace that I had before this season in my life when I could just lay it down? The time I put in growing should account for something, right? Is anyone tracking with me, or am I insane?...
For instance: In the past with the girls pop, I knew he wasnt in a good place & I would give him so much grace. I would oftentimes tell the girls about how difficult his life is & how his choices have led to the place he finds himself in now, that they needed to pray for him & offer him forgivness. I would infuse hope into all conversations about him. Now, I just almost snarl. Its been 10 + years and he hasnt changes a bit. He hasn't really ever helped support them & my hubz hasn't ever held the slightest grudge. He feels like they are his and he will do whats necessary to provide. He says "God is our provider , & thats that..." I have always agreed, until recently. I can't hardly even stomach the whole thing anymore. I know it isn't Christlike. I just can't deal with it & I feel like I just can't pretend anymore. So, I just sit quietly instead of trying to defend him to them. Thats just one example of my new & un~improved attitude. Im bringing this into the light because I need help. I want freedom. I also want to know if I am alone alone in this or if this is truly just a season that I'm in. (I have also wondered lately if its pre menapause? Maybe I need anti depressants? Eather way, its bondage & I. want. freedom).
Thanks for reading peeps. I feel like I don't even want to share this now after reading it, but I'm going to. I need advice, & where better to get it than from all of you, ladies who eather; are that mom too, have had that mom, been that mom, had this struggle, or know somone who did/does...
Sorry so serious girlz. I know you prob came here maybe needing a laugh, to look at some cute pics, or read somthing lite hearted, but today~ this is where I'm at & hopfully not for long ;)
Ok, off to visit you now, make me laugh ladies!! ;) JK, Maybe you've got stuff going on, & if so, I'm your girl. I would love to pray for you or offer any advice. (I know given my prior confession you might be prone not to want to share, but I'm great at helping you, just not so good at helping me... ;)
LYLAS LA

Now I know why!!!

Im not really sure how to to do this so I hope it works, soooo funny!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7q2wD6HHdUY
LYLAS LA

It Just Happened.

I just had to have a talk w/ my 8 year old about how un nice she is to her older sister's. (especially her & the cute one in the middle up there)  I talked to her about what it will be like once they are all gone & how it hurts me to see them treat one another so poorly. Punk (oldest on the rt) is a junior, so 1  1/2 more years is about all we have w/ her here & Shorty & Pooh are twins & freshmen, so 3 yrs w/ them- it will be gone in a flash. How in the world did we get here so fast? It. just happened!... I was 14 yrs older than my lil sis & wanted a sister for yeeeears before she came along. We were to far apart in age & when I left home she was 3 so we never really had much of a relationship. I reminded lil P of that & told her how special "sisters" are & about how she'll miss them & wish she could have these years back. -he teared up & made a commitment to try & do better.I don't know if it did any good & if so, for how long but I could see that she hadn't really thought about how her attitude effects them or that she's not been very easy to share a room with.  I called Shorty in & had them hug & talk it out. Uncomfortable for them? - Uh hu!! Necessary, yup!. As they left my room I have to admit that I was somwhat doubting that the truce would last for long (they are both type A & lil firecrackers!) I know that they may have to be reminded from time to time, & that's ok. I just want them to realize how special it is to have 3 sisters & how truly blessed they are. Just now I heard lil P ask if Shorty wanted to get a snack & then say " I love you..." Hmmm, & I didn't even have to threaten.. It just happened!!
I'm gonna go see if I can get in on that snack! I hope you have a Teriffic Tuesday! LYLAS  LA

Leah Allen
 --Sent from my Palm Pre

Teen Miles?

Hi. I'm Leah & I've recently discovered that I'm an age aholic... Ok, let me explain. My father in law made a comment to me when we were there for Christ mas about how we have all aged. He said (paraphrasing here) that I can't deny that even I'm looking quite older since my wedding (in 03). I can't stop thinking about it.
Shortly after that I heard someone say that the "teen years" raising your children will put 20  (years) on your face. OMGAW!!!! It's seriously happening to me right before my eyes!! (or right around my eyes! ) Since hearing that lil life changing statement I have noticed tons of lines!. Crows feet, stress highway right between my eyebrows & now - laugh lines too!! I'm to young (39) to look this dang old!. So I am on a mission to find any reversing agents allowed by law. (ok, maybe even illegal!) :o"  So in my quest to look my age (what? 39ish is YOUNG PEOPLE!) I'm asking for any (Tested, Tried & True) products that you might have used to keep your youthfulness (just please no Yak Urine or anything of it kind!!) Any & all - ok, most any & some suggestions will be tested by yours truly (& any of you that wish to join me :)  for the alloted time & then I will report back w/ said results!! So, whatcha know of?? Yes, you back there w/ the glowing, very youthful complexion!! :)   lylas  LA 

Leah Allen
 --Sent from my Palm Pre

No~Stinkin~Way!!!

You guys... You are NOT going to believe this!!!. In Touch Mag is reporting that Jesse James is cheating on Sandra Bullock!! They say that he had an affair with tattoo model Michelle McGee while she was filming "The Blind Side" in Texas. Sandra and Jesse have been married now for 5 years & have seemed to be a very happy couple. James has been to all of the awards shows this year to support her for the all the nominations and awards she has won for The Blind Side. Did you guys see when she won the Oscar and James was seen in the audience with tears in his eyes?. She has even referred to her him as “having my back”.

Michelle McGee is telling InTouch magazine that she was having an affair with Jesse while Sandra was filming The Blind Side saying “We ended up on the couch,” “He wanted to watch movies, but I asked him, ‘What’s going on with you and Sandra?’ He said, ‘She doesn’t live here. She has a house in Austin. She is filming, and I can’t talk about it.”

McGee claims that she had a 5 week affair about 2 times a week with Jesse James. Just because she says it does not make it true, but having Sandra Bullock pull out of the movie premier in London makes me wonder if there is truth to this story. It would be a shame if in the best year of her career, her marriage to the man she is head over heels in love with falls apart... Well, I for one really don't know what to think. I truly thought/ think they are that 1% in Hollywood that will last. I have so much respect for her and I truly hope this is all just part of an evil pan to destroy all Great Marriages in Show biz. Thats what Im gonna believe until I hear otherwise. JUST PLAIN SAD... PS. I dont usually ever talk about this kind of stuff, but I feel like I know them. Ive watched her movies for ever and have watched Jesse on his various TV programs for years . We have seen him go through alot of family trials & a divorce all while trying to protect his babies. For some reason, this just really shocked me...

LYLAS xoxo LA