Sunday, January 9, 2011
I’m running back to Your promises one more time, Lord that’s all I can hold on to, I gotta say this has taken me, by surprise, but nothing surprises you. Before a heartache, can ever touch my life, it has to go through Your hands, and even though I, keep asking why, I keep asking why...No matter what, I’m gonna love You, no matter what I’m gonna need You, I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not,if not, I’ll trust you, no matter what, no matter what... When I’m stuck in this nothing-ness by myself, I’m just sitting in silence, there’s no way I can make it without Your help, I wont even try it. I know you have your reasons for everything, so I will keep believing, whatever I might be feeling, God you are my hope, and you'll be my strength... No matter what, I’m gonna love You, no matter what I’m gonna need You, I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not, if not, I’ll trust you, no matter what, no matter what. Anything I don’t have You can give it to me, but it’s ok if You don’t, I’m not here for those things, the touch of Your love is enough on its own, no matter what I still love You and I’m gonna need You No matter what I’m gonna love you, no matter what I’m gonna need you, I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not, if not, I’ll trust You, I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain, but if not, if not, I’ll trust you, no matter what no matter what no matter no matter what...
Saturday, January 8, 2011
I took a stroll through my side bar last night and was saddened to see that so many others had also either closed their blogs or had taken up to a years hiatus. Its funny that when you start out on the blog journey its really a choice that you make to make public all of your family stuff. The good times, heart breaks, challenges, victories, and often times the dark parts of you that your struggling with . You think that sharing might help someone going through rough times. Maybe minister to them, give them hope. I thought I could be that, do that, share that, but what I found was that during a very difficult time in my life, the things I was sharing here were being used against me, used to hurt me. So this blog became a source of pain and anger for me instead of what it was meant to be, a place to share my heart and life with friends and loved ones. I started to wonder what had taken place in my bloggy friends lives that would have them not returning to their blog. Obviously they had attempted to do the same thing I had with hope for it and an expectancy of what it would be to them. The person that caused me so much pain is still around. In fact, hasn't changed one bit except has seemingly gotten even better at not being very Christlike and has moved on to continue to hurt and take advantage of other people (whom I pray have a close enough relationship with the Lord to learn the lesson I had to learn, way before I did). Which brings me to my long winded point. One very valuable lesson that Ive learned is while " I walk through the valley of the shadow of death" what does God promise us? That it will be easy, nope. That we can get revenge on that person? No. For me it is that although I allowed what was going on to deeply hurt me (and cause me to for quite a while to kick scream wallow and get very depressed) He. never. left. me. His promises were and are true (despite my circumstances) and that if I can just believe Him through these trials He promises to refine me, make me into what I was created to be and bless me for my obedience!!. ( although He does also promise that He will [defend] me, [protect] me and be the final judge for all things done good or bad, but thinking about those things will keep you in bondage to that situation. You must forgive to truly be set free!) . Whew. He must really think I'm something ( and He does you too!!). And because He does, it has given me the courage and strength to rise above the ashes and once again set claim to the things satan tried to steal from me, one of which is the joy this blog and all of its attributes brought me. (&You dear friend are one of those attributes). I'm sure you are prob wondering why in the world I'm being so candid here once more after just having shared all that with you. Well, honestly right now at this moment I'm really not sure except to say, I know this life is a journey, and Ive given this little bump in the road WAY to much of my time and energy. I'm ready to get on down the road. Wanna take a ride??
Till next time (very soon, I gatta lot to say ;)
Till next time (very soon, I gatta lot to say ;)
Friday, January 7, 2011
Here I am ya'll, & only by Gods grace & mercy!! . So much going on in our 4 walls. But, I'll start here. Boy, have I missed you! So often have I thought about my bloggy girlfriendz & your precious hearts. I have been asked often, especially lately, about when I would return to the blogesphere? My answer was always, when I felt a peace about sharing my heart again. I as so many of you, have had such a season of sifting & I needed this time with my family & the Lord to regain what was slowly being eaten away by not focusing on what God was calling me to. Now, I am clinging to the promises & believing His best for the incredible adventure that He has called me to. I hope you'll join me once again on this precious jorurney, it just wouldn't be the same withoutcha!! I'll be back to dig in & share more aftera much needed date night,LYLAS/B!